31 October, 2008

I don't want to start any blashpemous rumours

I'm surprised no one has picked this up here, then again, the field is ripe with the fetid fruit sown of good ole fashioned American religious in(s)anity:


Columnist: If you vote for Obama, you're going to hell

Still can't choose between John McCain and Barack Obama? Well, good news -- WorldNetDaily's Janet Porter has just made your decision much easier. Porter's latest column warns that a vote for Obama is irreconcilable with the Christian faith, and that those who do choose to vote Democratic this year have a terrible punishment awaiting them.

"To all those who name the name of Christ who plan to willfully disobey Him by voting for Obama, take warning. Not only is our nation in grave danger, according to the Word of God, so are you," Porter wrote.

What kind of danger are so many of us in? The really bad kind:

Be forewarned: If you willfully disobey God on life and marriage because of race or false hope for the economy, you will usher in the kind of change that brought the Soviet Union to collapse.

As the saying goes, if you talk to God, you're religious. If he talks back, you're schizophrenic. This Porter person appears to just be a daft c*nt.

And one final thought: there is the famous story of a faithful man who finds himself stuck on his roof during a great flood. One boat comes along, and the boat offers to take him to safety. "No," says the man, "I have faith that the Lord will protect me." Another boat, and the same response, and another, and a helicopter.

Finally, the flood waters carry the man away to his death.

Upon entering the gates of Heaven, the man says to God, "O Lord, I feel blessed to be here. I have only one question, why did you not save me from the flood?"

God says, "save you? I sent three boats and a helicopter!"

If there was a God, clearly she's an Obama supporter.

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